Thawing the Fury
by Sapphire1112
Summary: Connie goes to Aspen for Christmas. I do not own the characters. Strachamp.
1. Chapter 1

**Sam**

"Mummy!" Grace practically throws herself at Connie – who embraces our daughter with more longing than I've ever seen in her before.

All over again, I'm utterly consumed by guilt for my actions. Denying Grace her mother and lying that it was Connie's idea was bad enough, though my lies protected Grace from the truth – which would have hurt her even more. Particularly the part where the father she looks up to, is really a lying, spiteful bastard.

But it was Connie who came out of it worst. I cruelly ripped our daughter away from her in the middle of the night, with absolutely no warning – and just after Grace had finally recovered from the accident which nearly claimed both their lives. It must have been such a shock when Connie found out that we'd gone. Then to add salt to the wound, I allowed Grace to believe that her mother had abandoned her again.

To do our little girl credit, she didn't take it that way at all – seeing it instead as the mother she admires making a difficult sacrifice, in order to make her daughter happy. Grace has been through so much. She needed a break from Holby and she really loves New York – I mean who doesn't, but this is yet another case of Grace being more grown up than her infantile father.

What I did hurt Connie beyond words – and it was unforgivable. Only after I'd done it, did I realise just how nasty it was. At the time, I was engrossed in one of the childish games that Connie and I like to play. Perhaps out of sheer panic, I also tried to 'hide' in the 'game-playing', when I realised that I was going to get what I'd always wanted. I was going to get the infallible Connie Beauchamp – for good.

The first time we were together – before Grace came along, I was quite happy because I suppose I had no expectations of it lasting any longer than it did. I was a womaniser back then and I simply didn't posses the maturity to even consider settling down with anyone.

After the crash though, I knew it was Connie – she's my perfect woman.

Well, I sort of knew before the crash. If I'm honest, I knew when I went back to New York without Grace – after Connie had to do surgery on my then fiancee, Emma. I couldn't get Connie out of my head and when Emma came back, I kept comparing the two of them. Emma would do or say something and I'd be thinking.

'Connie would have done that like this.' or 'Connie would have said that'.

It was unfair to Emma and breaking off the engagement was the only decent thing to do. I knew I wasn't going to be happy – and if I wasn't happy then Grace definitely wouldn't be. I was also extremely jealous of Jacob when I met him.

As Grace recovered from her injuries over the past year, I've grown closer to Connie – or at least I've tried to. Connie has her moments – like the one in the storeroom before I left. However, Connie's dominance speaks volumes and no matter how much I want her, I never expected her to accept my affections the way she was starting to. Perhaps she was tired of playing games. Anyway, the prospect of finally being able to settle down and have some sort of 'family life' was overwhelmingly daunting when it came to fruition. Hence me 'hiding' in one of my games.

I say one of 'my' games, because this was a game of my own invention – and Connie had no willing part in it. She was happy. Grace was happy. And I was happy, but I ran away from Connie like a spineless coward. As usual I acted before thinking – one of my personality traits that has always aggrieved Connie the most.

I played a game and ended up shooting myself in the foot – for when Grace hugs Connie at the airport, I do the same. Whilst Connie embraces Grace deeply, I do not receive so much as eye contact in return for my affectionate gesture. She is of course perfectly civil to me – so as not to alert Grace to the strained nature of our relationship. She accepts my hug without responding to it – even allowing me to peck her on the cheek, but I get nothing back.

"Hi" She replies politely, when I greet her warmly.

Again, her words are perfectly civil. I do detect a slightly frosty demeanour behind them – though that remains unnoticed by our daughter – and again there is no attempt to look at me or to make eye contact. At first, I'm unsure whether Connie is angry, upset – or totally indifferent to me, but after she's been with us for a couple of hours, I realise that it's the former two.

She's furious – and she's distraught. Good going, Sam – well done! You've really done it this time.

When we're back at the cabin things continue in much the same manner. Grace does eventually notice something – but seems to assume that her Mum is a little shy because she hasn't seen us for a long time.

Connie Beauchamp – shy? Never!

Just after lunch, Grace takes Simba for a play just outside the veranda, while Connie and I clear up. I decide its time to investigate the matter further.

"Con?"

Nothing. Now that Grace is out of ear-shot, Connie is ignoring me completely. All trace of civility is gone. Time to try a different approach.

"My mother's here."

She spins around to face me – almost overbalancing in the process, and grabs the kitchen table to support herself. "What?!"

At least that got her talking to me, I suppose. "My Mum's here." I repeat. "She's got the chalet next door."


	2. Chapter 2

**Connie**

His mother?! Who comes on a skiing holiday and books the next door chalet for their mother? That wasn't part of the plan – at least not my plan. Now not only do I have Sam Strachan to contend with, I also have Audrey Strachan. The only thing worse than one Strachan is two Strachans. Well, I suppose technically there are two and a half here. Grace is half Sam after all, but she's definitely a Beauchamp – although she's certainly inherited her Dad's penchant for trouble-making.

If Sam's mother is here, I shall put my bone of contention over Sam's antics to one side in her presence. Audrey Strachan doesn't need any further ammunition -she dislikes me enough already.

 **Sam**

"You booked an extra chalet for your mother?! Seriously?" She snorts indignantly. "What's the matter, Sam - are you afraid of being left on your own with me?"

"No, Con – it wasn't my idea." I protest. "She did it completely off her own back when she found out we were coming to Aspen. We've already had numerous rows about it, but she insisted on coming...Anyway, she's coming here soon." I add – half hoping that the latter sentence is too quiet for her to hear. It won't go down well.

"Sorry?"

I sigh – unwilling to repeat the whole sentence. I'm pretty sure she heard it, despite my efforts to the contrary. "My mum."

"Oh." She answers irritably. "How soon?"

"Half...an...hour" I mutter, wincing in anticipation of her reaction. When it comes, it nearly explodes my eardrum.

"WHAT?!"

I drop the glass I'm holding and it shatters all over the floor with a smash and a clatter. "Shit."

"Sorry." She smirks as I crouch down to clear the glass up.

Connie leans on the table to get on the floor. I stare at her.

"Old bones." She comments as she helps me clear up the shards of glass – but that wasn't what I was staring at. This is a new side to Connie. It's unusual for her to get down on her knees and help – whatever the occasion.

"Sorry, I didn't warn you about my mother-" I'm interrupted by a familiar voice.

"What is going on here?"

"M-mum!" I stammer, looking up in horror – as Connie glares daggers at me from her position on the floor. "Y-your early!"

"Well, there's no time like the present!" She exclaims briskly. "Look who I found outside."

 **Connie**

"She wasn't lost!" Sam mumbles irritably, suggesting that he's certainly no more impressed than I am to have his mother's presence in Aspen. A united front it is then – in front of Audrey.

Grace appears next to Audrey – and Simba barks to announce his arrival.

"Is Mummy throwing things at you already, Daddy?" Grace giggles cheekily.

"N-no." Sam stammers again.

He seems to have gone to a nervous wreck in front of his mother – and I feel quite sorry for him for once.

"Just an accident, sweetie." I remark – smiling at Grace. "Your Dad had butter-fingers!" She giggles again. "Now Gracie," I continue. "I want you to take Simba into the living room, please. We don't want you to stand on any glass."

"Now," Audrey starts after Grace has gone. "Considering what's obviously happened in here..."

"It was an accident!" Sam snaps – but Audrey chooses to ignore him.

"I want you both to be on your best behaviour tonight"

"What are we – five?" Sam mutters under his breath.

I feel myself smirking. "Why?" I ask. "Where are we going, Audrey?"

 **Sam**

"There's a do on in the village." Mum informs us. "The main bit is for adults, but there's a children's party downstairs. Grace knows about it and she's more than happy to go."

I stand up with the broken glass – having got the rest from Connie. I help her to her feet and turn back to my mum. "Mum, Connie's just got here!" I complain – annoyed that my Mother is taking over yet again. "And this is supposed to be our holiday! You promised you wouldn't interfere all the time!"

 **Connie**

Audrey looks annoyed now. "A little bit of respect, Samuel." She chides him sharply. "I'm still your Mother! I'll be back to pick the three of you up later – see that you're ready. And mind – I don't want you showing me up in front of my friends later!"

" ' I'm still your mother!' " Sam repeats after she's left – mimicking Audrey to the best of his ability. "Don't I bloody know it!" He grumbles.

 **Sam**

We go into the living room, where Grace is waiting patiently.

I look back at the kitchen. "So, um she didn't actually tell us what time this thing is, did she?"

"No, she didn't" Connie agrees with a smirk.

"Grandma says its at 7pm." Grace pipes up. "And I did tell her you wouldn't be happy about it, Daddy – but she said you wouldn't get a choice."

Connie sniggers slightly. "Did your Mum say she had friends? Her friends are in Aspen?! Don't tell me she rented all the other chalets for them!" She comments to me indignantly.

Grace giggles. "No, Mummy – she's never met them before. There's a group of ladies here that Grandma's 'got in' with. I don't like them, but she thinks they're brilliant!"

"Oh, I see." Connie retorts, bending down to pick up her suitcase. Uh oh, this isn't going to go down well either. "Bedroom?" She enquires – as predicted.

"Yes, Connie – about that-" I start, but Grace beats me to it with a cheery:

"This way Mummy."

 **Connie**

I stare at the bed, infuriated once again – which isn't difficult now that Audrey's left and I no longer feel sorry for him, though I do try to keep a lid on my distaste for Grace's sake.

How dare he though. How dare he book a two bedroom chalet. I mean if it was a single room and a twin room, fair enough. It wouldn't be great, but I could live with it. But a single for Grace – and a double for us?! Does he think we can just pretend that the last few months never happened? Does he actually believe that I'll tolerate him leaving the way he did – and then just happily share a bed with him over Christmas? What an arsehole!What a prick!

 **Sam**

She's quiet, but there's a look of utter disgust on her face – though thankfully, Grace went back into the living room after showing Connie the way. It wouldn't do for her to see.

"Well, this really takes the biscuit, Sam." Connie hisses at me.

"I swear, it was a mistake Connie." I say quietly. "The website said they can do the bigger rooms up as doubles or separate the beds to make twin beds. I specified a twin room, I promise – it was only when we arrived that I found it was a double."

"I'm not sure I believe you, Sam." She announces. "This is exactly the kind of thing you'd do!"

"Honestly, Con. Look, the cleaner comes on Tuesday – I'll ask for them to change it." I offer tactfully. "Until then I'll just sleep on the sofa.

She looks a little less sceptical. "Grace will notice if you sleep on the sofa." She points out eventually.

"Then I'll sleep in the chair." I suggest, motioning at a rather uncomfortable looking chair in the corner of the room.

It really was a mistake – I just need to convince her of that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sam**

Grace and Connie take ages to get ready – luckily for them, my Mum hasn't arrived to pick us up yet. I sip a glass of water while I wait.

"Wow, Daddy – you look handsome!" Grace giggles when they finally return to the living room. "Doesn't he Mummy." She adds, not so subtlety.

"Yes, well, we don't need to inflate his ego, darling – it's quite big enough already!" Connie answers behind me – causing Grace to giggle again.

I turn around and find that I'm uncharacteristically lost for words. Connie is wearing a lovely red, winter-style dress and though it would not normally go with the shoes she's paired it with – for high heels are unsuitable in these conditions, she pulls the look off perfectly. Mind you, that woman could make overalls a fashion statement.

"What's the matter, Sam – cat got your tongue?" Connie remarks in amusement.

"I think you've got his tongue, Mummy." Grace points out – still giggling.

Connie sniggers as I choke on my water. Our daughter has no idea what she's just said.

"You look-" I mumble eventually.

"I think the word you're looking for is 'amazing'!" Connie smirks. "You do look smart, Sam – but did you have to wear so much aftershave?"

"Oh, you noticed." I mutter blankly. I thought I was being subtle – but obviously not.

"Isn't that the point?" She retorts. "You clearly only put it on for my benefit – but I wish you hadn't."

"It is a bit strong, Daddy." Grace agrees.

I'm saved from further humiliation – or so I think when my Mum arrives.

"Are you ready? - Oh, what is that smell?"

Grace giggles. "Daddy's aftershave!"

"Oh, Sam really!" My mother exclaims crossly. "You must have used a whole bottle!"

 **Connie**

Once again I feel sorry for Sam. Grace and I were lightly teasing him about his aftershave – that's how Sam and I roll, so it wouldn't do to just give a compliment. Especially as I'm still very annoyed with him. However, after his Mum's comments, he looks highly embarrassed – as though he wishes the floor would swallow him up.

"Oh, leave him alone, ladies – I think he smells nice." I remark much to Sam's surprise. I pick up my coat and start putting it on. "Shall we go then?"

"Did you mean that?" Sam whispers as we walk. "Do you think it smells nice?"

I want to say no – because I'm not overly keen on it – and I don't want him to think I've forgiven him, but I can tell that he's genuinely worried that he will show us all up in front of his mother, so I decide to keep him happy for now.

"It's not bad" I agree. "But I also thought that your mother was being rather unfair."

 **Sam**

"Oh." I mutter, slightly disappointed. "That was nice of you."

She sighs. "I am nice, Sam – when people don't disappear with my daughter in the middle of the night."

"Well - thank you. I appreciate it, Connie. I really do."

"Hmm-mm. Well, I just thought you could do with someone in your corner." She answers, before walking ahead to join Grace and my Mum. That's the first time she's actually mentioned what happened.

It's just a short walk to the village and my Mum stops us before we get there.

"Wait."

"Oh what now?" I mumble under my breathe to Connie – who once again smirks in response.

 **Connie**

Audrey manoeuvres me to stand next to Sam – as Grace looks on with interest.

"Arms." The former demands of us.

We both hold our adjacent arms out obediently and she entwines them, so that we are standing arm-in-arm as couples are meant to.

"Best behaviour." She announces pointedly, before leading Grace into the hall.

"Oh this is too much!" Sam practically growls, rolling his eyes after her. "What is she playing at?"

 **Sam**

I have no problem with Connie hanging off my arm – in fact, it's just what I want, but that's not why my Mother's doing it – and I worry that her actions will only serve to increase the distance between Connie and I. Connie is still, understandably very angry and upset with me. If I want to improve things between us, it will certainly take time. I need to take it slowly and only humbly offer my affections when she's open to them – whilst still convincing her that I really do care.

My Mother on the other hand, is trying to 'force' us together – and solely for her own reasons. She's made no secret of her dislike for Connie in the past, so had I not over-heard her having a conversation with her 'groupies', I wouldn't be able to understand why she was suddenly anxious for us to be together.

My Mother's friends were gossiping on the subject of their 'perfect' families. Not necessarily about marriage, you understand – but a sort of Mother/Father/children set-up for all of their offspring. She's clearly anxious for them to think that is our arrangement to.

Sometime after over-hearing the conversation, Grace and I were introduced to them. My Mum told them some cock and bull story to explain Connie's absence. We were all meant to arrive together apparently – but Connie got called into work at the last minute.

"She's a doctor – they're both brilliant doctors." Mum announced proudly. Well, at least that bit was true. We don't have to 'pretend' we're doctors.

Of course, my Mother neglected to mention that Connie has been living in a different country – something Grace questioned me about later.

"Daddy, why did Grandma pretend that Mummy lives with us in America?"

I was vexed, I can tell you. Had I not already been aware of my Mother's stories, I would have been just as confused. It was after that when Grace told me she didn't like Grandma's friends.

"If they were really friends" She informed me sensibly. "Then Grandma would tell them the truth."

She might only be young – but she's certainly got her head screwed on.

At the time, I was pretty mad with Mum for telling stories in front of Grace – though my daughter has been very good about it and she agreed to go along with Grandma's charades.

With hindsight though, I have no right to be angry with my Mother for her lies – after all, I've been lying to Grace for months and what I've done is far worse.

We follow my Mum and Grace into the hall – and Mum dispatches Grace to her party downstairs. Our little one gives us both a hug and smiles at us with a cheery 'see you later'.

"Ok, here goes nothing!" I mutter to Connie as Mum leads us over to her group.

"Sam, it's lovely to see you again! You must be Connie."

"Hello." Connie greets them politely. "It's lovely to meet you."

"Do come and sit down, Connie. You must tell us all about your job."

Uh oh, I think. I should have warned Connie that they're under the impression she lives in America too – but thankfully, she seems to cotton-on pretty quickly to the fact and that disaster is averted.

Half-an-hour in, Connie and I have been sticking to water, but one of the men in the group drags me to the bar to get the next round in. The G&T's have been flowing for the other women – and the husbands' have been on beer or lager – or whatever local drink they wish.

I slide back into my seat next to Connie with a beer and my Mum eyes me distastefully.

"Sam's decided to sample the local beer." The husband announces. "It's very strong."

Connie smiles sweetly at me. "That's wonderful, darling. We can expect embarrassing jokes later." I can't help thinking that Connie is rather enjoying herself.

"I hope not." Mum remarks.

"I'll stick to one, Con – I promise." I answer – playing my part perfectly.

"Ooh, Connie – you've got him on a tight leash there!"

Connie smirks, but my Mother takes all the credit – and given her usual attitude to Connie, her answer is laughable.

"Believe me, I've trained her well. Us women have to stick together!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Sam**

"Unbelievable!" I exclaim as we leave the warm confines of the hall.

One of my Mum's friends suggested that Connie and I go for an evening skiing session. The Ski slope here is well lit – no expense spared, and Connie and I jumped at the chance to make our escape. Mum was more than happy to let us leave, given that it was one of her 'groupies' who very keenly suggested it.

Connie chuckles dryly. "Yes, well it's hard to believe she's your mother."

I can't decide whether that's supposed to be a dig or a compliment – which is often the way with Connie. However, given the current circumstances, its rather more likely to be the former.

Of course, now that my Mother's beady eyes aren't watching our every move, we are no longer arm-in-arm. I did offer Connie my assistance, due to the snow, but she rather rudely told me that she was perfectly able to manage on her own – and with the state of our relationship at the moment, it's better not to argue.

We arrive at the Ski hut and change into the hired suits, before heading out to the slope.

 **Connie**

As we go up in the ski lift, it occurs to me that I didn't have to come skiing with Sam – I could have simply gone back to the cabin after leaving the hall. That option never occurred to me at the time. Having said that, knowing Sam, he probably would have followed me back. Undoubtedly, he would have refused to go skiing on his own and we would have ended up having a blazing row, so maybe its just as well that we're out here.

On the other hand, as Ethan pointed out before I left Holby, a skiing holiday and taking it easy are not exactly bosom buddies, so I shouldn't really be on a ski lift. Nevertheless, at least this way – if I'm skiing, I don't have to talk to Sam.

Or so I think. As we go up and get to the highest point, away from any of the poles supporting the wires, the lift shudders and comes to a halt.

 **Sam**

It's a good while after eight and the slope shuts for the night at half nine, so there aren't a lot of people out on the slope now.

We, of course, would be the only ones this high up on the ski lift when it breaks, wouldn't we.

Everyone else is able to dismount with a little help, whilst, much to Connie's disgust, we are stuck with each other for company until they can get the lift working again – or find some other way to get us down.

"I could jump down." I comment in jest.

"Don't be stupid, Sam." Connie retorts. "You'll break both your legs – if not your neck. Besides, I'm not jumping down from here."

I try again. "If we're stuck up here for a bit, maybe we could talk?" I suggest hopefully.

"About what Sam?" She asks icily. "You had me and you chose to walk away in the cruellest way you could think of."

 **Connie**

He wants to talk? Seriously, does he think he can treat me like that and then worm his way out of it?

"Con-" He interjects, as I cut him off again.

"I don't think you could make your feelings any clearer, Sam." I remark coldly. "So there's really nothing else to say. I'm here because Grace wants me here. I'm not here for you and I'd be perfectly happy if I didn't have to see you again."

I try to move away, but unsurprisingly, there isn't anywhere to go, so I just turn away instead.

He touches my arm lightly with his gloved hand. "Connie, please. I do love you. I-"

"I don't want to hear it, Sam." I rebuff him.

I do, but it's just too hard to hear right now and I can't appear to be weak. If I listen, I'm letting him in, and if I let him in, I open myself up to more pain – to weakness. Connie Beauchamp isn't weak.

Connie Beauchamp doesn't do pain.

Usually, I'd leave the room at this point, to avoid the risk of letting my guard down – as I did back in the summer, but I can't move away from him up here and he's going to tell me anyway.

Short of sticking my fingers in my ears, I have no choice but to listen.

 **Sam**

My heart is thumping so hard in my chest that it hurts. Is this what it felt like when I walked out on her all those months ago?

I need to tell her that I behaved the way I did, because I'm a coward, not because I'm cruel. I want her to understand that I do love her and I hate myself for hurting her like that. I want things back the way they were, but since I'm responsible for destroying what we had, I don't know if that is possible any more.

"It's what I've always wanted – a family life for the three of us, any way we could." I begin. "You know me Con, I'm all talk, but I never expected you to let me in the way you were and when it came down to it, I was a coward. I panicked and I ran away from you." I pause. "Then Gracie was so excited about going back to New York – which just made it easier to run away. I don't know why I told her all that stuff about it being your idea – I guess I just-"

"Panicked?" Connie snorts at my repeated reason for fleeing.

I'm definitely panicking now, because I'm telling the truth but I don't know how to make her believe me. I don't know if I can fix what I broke, but at least she's listening.

 **Connie**

I admit, that in a way, it does sound like the kind of thing he'd do. He's well known for acting without thinking, but is it worth risking this, only for him to kick me while I'm down? Is he worth it?

I wince as the familiar feeling comes over me. Sam's voice fades into the background. I really shouldn't have come here – I should have gone back to the cabin where it's warm. Now I'm out in the cold and I'm stuck up here – with Sam. It's not good for my heart.

I suddenly realise that Sam's tone has changed and he's no longer talking about why he left. He's noticed that something is wrong and he's worried.

"Have you got a signal?" I inquire to avoid the questions and manoeuvre the conversation away from my health.

"What?" My question has taken him by surprise, but he gets his phone out to look. "Yeah."

"Your Mum has probably taken Grace back to the cabin by now and they'll be expecting us back soon," I point out. "You should probably ring her and tell her what's happening."

"Me?!" Sam exclaims, apparently dumbfounded. Who else does he think?

"Well, I'm not ringing your mother!" I retort indignantly.

"Oh, right. Yeah, ok." He mutters, sounding embarrassed.

He proceeds to ring Audrey, but again my chest tightens and his voices fades out. I lean back in the seat, facing away from him and close my eyes.

"Connie? Connie?" Sam's voice breaks through.

"Sorry, what?"

"Grace wants to say goodnight." He explains handing me the phone. "She's going to bed."

"Oh." I remove my glove and take the phone off him. "Hi sweetie. Sleep tight, we'll see you in the morning, ok? I love you too. Good night...Oh." I hand the phone back to him. "Your mother's back."

 **Sam**

I can't help but be slightly amused by Connie's unimpressed remark about my Mum being back on the phone, however, my amusement is short-lived when I see Connie sigh and lean back against the seat. She doesn't seem at all comfortable and appears to be struggling to breathe properly. I'm very concerned about her and I can't fully concentrate on what my Mum is saying.

"Yeah, ok, Mum – I'll let you know what's going on. Bye." I hang up the phone so that I can turn my attention back to Connie.


End file.
